Actually, not sure if this will be a view, a thought, a rant or just a bunch of malarky, but it’s been on my mind, so here goes.
The way i feel:
Oh, and by the way, i am writing this as i am waiting to hear from Master, not knowing if i will get to see Him today or not. As most of you know that read my blog, Master and i haven’t been able to see each other on a regular basis because of His job, etc. We have a long distance (about an hour apart) relationship, but we talk to each other most every day, either by phone, text or email. Continuing….
I am Master’s slave. I have been since the day He put His collar on my neck. That locked it for me. I FEEL like His slave. I KNOW i’m His slave. I think about that all the time. Master does not “control” every aspect of my life because He knows He can trust me and i know i wouldn’t do anything do jeopardize our relationship. So, there’s no need for Him to dictate my every move. Now, that’s not saying that He won’t instill more control in the future, or from time to time about certain things. I’m just saying this is how it is right now. But, even with the minimal rules and control Master has for me, i AM, without a doubt His.
How do i feel about that? Satisfied, loved, happy, content. THIS is what i have looked for all my life and just didn’t know it. Of course, there are some days that i miss Him terribly (lots lately), but i know i WILL see Him. There are some days i feel a little disconnected when i didn’t hear from Him, but i know i WILL hear from Him. There are days that i’m just onery and fussy because i need all that He does for me (to me) to straighten me out. There are days i wish He could be here with me every day. But, that’s not in our cards right now and i knew this from the beginning.
BUT, do i ever question the fact that i’m a slave or that i love being His slave? NO. Not ever, not once. To me, being His slave is more than just what we do. It is how i feel inside. It’s how He makes me feel inside and out. Even during those long weeks of not seeing Him in person and those days i don’t get to hear His voice, i still know i am His and am happy to be His slave.
Okay, nuff about me…
My point is this: Why do i read on so many slaves’ blogs where they are questioning their slavehood and/or their Master? It’s like this ultimate rollercoaster of wondering why they are in a M/s relationship. I see doubt, anger, selfishness, irritation, cursing, dissatisfaction, and a lot of non-submissive and non-slave-like personalities coming out. I’ve even seen one say she “hates” it, she likes to be “in charge.” (Girl, you are in the wrong place!) I see it over and over. I don’t want to get into definitions here; because i am sure there are some that will say that i’m not a slave. But, i AM to Master. Period. I’ve seen the term “super submissive” here lately. Huh? Does being “super submissive” make one a slave? I personally don’t think so. But, i would think if one is super submissive, they they shouldn’t have much trouble being a slave, if that is what their Master wants of them. Right? Then, i see some who question whether they even LIKE being a slave. Really? Maybe this is just a way for some to work out their problems on paper, i don’t know. But when the same girls blog over and over about their problems with slavehood, i would think that eventually, they will either decide they ARE or ARE NOT a slave. Girls, MAYBE you just like the kink? MAYBE you just like it rough from time to time. MAYBE you are not a slave. And, if you are not, IT’s OKAY. Just figure it out for yourselves and stop being miserable 4 days out of 7. It’s my thought that most of these girls would be totally bored with just a regular “joe blow,” and a few weeks out of their collar would cure them, one way or the other. If you are unhappy in your relationship, or if you don’t think it’s for you, get out. Try that vanilla man across town, you’ll know for sure then, right?
So, that’s just my views on the matter. I’ve just always felt that you ARE or you AREN’T. There’s no middle ground when it comes to being a slave. And, if you aren’t a slave on the inside, you sure as heck aren’t going to be one on the outside.
~steps off soapbox~
So where have i been? Busy as heck! My brother was in a bad auto accident last Monday and i’ve been helping out with him and my parents a lot. He’s going to be okay. The accident was not his fault. GREAT negligence on the other driver. He will have a lot of rehabilitation after his knee surgery. But, he’s alive, and that’s what matters most.
Master and i (as stated above) are doing well. Today is the first day of the strike. He’s all excited about it. It may last for several weeks, not sure. I’m hoping like crazy that it will enable Him to come to see me more. Cause, i’m a GREEDY slave and He knows it! I WANT more of His mastery. Yummy!
I’ve lost 22 pounds now. I weigh again tomorrow, but i don’t think i did well last week. Too much stress with brother/family. But, even if i dropped one pound, i’ll be happy. Master is pound and happy for me, and to hear Him say that means SO much. It’s so great to finally have One who tells you how good you look and that you’re pretty and sexy.
Welp i’m off here for now. Hopefully, i’ll be posting a little more often.
Me.
