I’m guilty!

Of not being faithful to this blog – i’ve got another one, i’ve been cheating – so there ya have it. If you can’t find me here, you can find me here:  Pagan In The Rough

As far as my life here goes, it’s been pretty calm and quiet. I’ve been working and Master has been WORKING. Still no strike and management is working them like dogs. They are all so tired. We talk on the phone and i can really hear it in His voice how tired He is. It’s been raining so much here, which really makes His job ucky. He told me last night He commends my being patient. Ummm, yes – i am patient, but i’m not good at it. There are days that i wanna curl up in a ball and cry from missing and needing Him. There are days i’m reeeeealllly fussy. Guess it’s good He doesn’t see that. Master is worth waiting for. We have a unique connection and a special relationship. I am so anxious to be with Him and take care of HIS needs, they’ve not been met in a while now.

I had a pretty nice Mother’s day. My daughter brought my grandsons and stayed most of the day. They are such fun and they DO keep me young. This Saturday is my younger daughter’s graduation from dental hygiene school. It’s been a long time coming. I’m so very proud of her. I’ve bought a new dress and shoes just for the occasion! Now, if we can just curtail the rain for a day…..

And, on top of that, my laptop doesn’t seem to want to stay online….so i’m going to randomly type until it does and i can upload this post! Arrrrrrrrgh! I need a new one bad, but i also need a lawnmower, and i want a grill and a bicycle. Master says He’ll bring His bike and we can ride together. Then, we can GRILL! ~looks at modem~ Arrrrrrgh!~twiddles thumbs~

Me (His)

Creepin’ in and nothing doin’…

Yep, i’m pretty much lagging around here not doing much, except working my hiney off. I’m so ready for a vacation. We’ve had SO much rain here! I’m talking like 6 inches in a weekend. My yard is very soggy. BUT! That didn’t keep Master from suprising me last weekend with a visit. The doorbell rang and THERE HE WAS! I was so excited. We had a wonderful time, as ususal. I just can’t seem to get enough of Him while He is here. After we had our “time” together, we went shopping for something to cook, instead of going to a restaurant. Master bought fish and all the trimmings. AND, Master cooked. He fried fish, french fries, hush puppies and boiled shrimp. The only thing I did was set the table and pour the tea. It was GREAT. I told Him i had never had a man cook for me before. I haven’t! I was SO full afterwards.  When i get a grill here for outdoors, we will do much more cooking together this summer. (Rain permitting)

I’ve been moaning and groaning around a lot lately because i miss Him so much. When we started out, i never thought i’d come to feel the way i do about Him. There are no words and that’s okay, because He says He can see it in my eyes and in the stars. ~swoons~ He’s such an awesome person. I can’t say enough how lucky a girl i am.

I love You Master.

But, it’s been back to the grind for both of us since then. I’ve just not been in the mood for sharing lately and that’s why i haven’t blogged here much. I’m pretty much in my own little world, working things out for myself and keeping my slave’s mindset right where it should be. Content in knowing that i am His.

Welp, i’m off to watch some reruns of Big Love and chill.

Me (His)

Spring is Here!!!

Rollercoaster Monday…

Ya know i was bummin’ all day long.  It’s Monday, it’s cloudy and cooler than i’d like for an April morning, i’m so busy at work i can’t see straight, son got a speeding ticket that i’m helping him pay until he gets paid on Friday, taxes are due to be filed and i’m not finished….on and on.

Welp – that ALL washed away when i got home and saw that Master had just emailed me. I hadn’t heard from Him all day and it was JUST what i needed. I can go from lagging to leaping with just one email from Him. He is always so loving and says what i need to hear. I know He’s working extra hard these days and i appreciate that He takes the time to send me an email after a hard day of work. I look forward to making Him feel special soon, too.

I have a closet full of implements that are wanting attention too! That cane – it’s so pretty, so stiff and hard - that one is going to take some time to get used to – but i’m determined. The wicked stick hasn’t been used much lately either. It leaves the coolest marks. Actually, there’s nothing that Master has brought that i don’t want to be used on me. I miss the pain, i miss the marks, bites and bruises. But, like He said in His email today – soon i’ll get what i’m craving. ~big smiles~

Me!

Catching up…

I’ll never catch up! But here’s a stab at it:

On March 30, my brother had a bad auto accident; not his fault; he is home from hospital for the 2nd time; had surgery on Thursday to fix his busted knee and leg; he’s doing okay; lots of PT and rehab ahead for him; i’ve been at my parents off and on helping out with him. So, that is that….

On top of that, work is kickin’ my butt; we have trial next week – medical malpractice suit – i hope it settles, although the overtime is nice.

Stress is HIGH, because of work and brother’s accident, so my diet hasn’t been as good as it should be. Guess i’ll see tomorrow when i weigh. Even a pound down would be nice. I NEED to keep it going in the right direction. So far, i’m down 23 pounds. I’m not trying to lose fast. It took 3 years to put it on, i’m going to do it right taking it off.

Master is still very busy at work and on their “PIP” program which keeps Him on the run trying to get His jobs done every day. I miss our regular phone calls and i miss His visits. But, i know that when the job gets straightened out, or they strike, He will be here more often and, as He said, we’ll get back to US. Until then, i’m still developing my patience skills. Honestly, some days i suck at that – i get whiney and needy – but He understands and doesn’t get upset with me. I just simply miss Him and US being together. It’s been a tough winter. He and i are both looking forward to warmer weather and some much needed Master and slave time.

No matter what, if He is here or not, i am His slave, 24/7! I wake up in the middle of the night – i am His slave. At work – i am His slave. Doing dishes – i am His slave. Getting dressed for work – i am His slave. Writing in my journal for Him – i am His slave.

MMhmmmmmmmm!

Me.

Monday, monday…..

I talked to Master today. YEA! He’s doing pretty good, except for the fact the company hasn’t officially called the strike. The men are all antsy and aggitated to say the least. They were SO ready! So today, they were working without a contract and NOT happy. Nevertheless, we had a good conversation and i can say, without a doubt, i am ONE HAPPY SLAVE! I’m so very lucky to have Him.

The rest of my day was simply covered up in work to my eyeballs. We have trials out the wazoo! We have one pretty much every six weeks through the end of the year. It’s going to make taking a vacation hard, but i’m DOING IT.

Short and sweet *grinz* tonight, cause i REALLY don’t feel like sharing!

Me.

Supporting CWA-District 6

In support of Master and his fellow workers:

STAY UNITED…………….STAY STRONG……and…………STAY TUNED——-

UNITED WE BARGAIN…………DIVIDED WE BEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

i love You Master!

 

Me.

Airing my views…

Actually, not sure if this will be a view, a thought, a rant or just a bunch of malarky, but it’s been on my mind, so here goes.

The way i feel:

Oh, and by the way, i am writing this as i am waiting to hear from Master, not knowing if i will get to see Him today or not. As most of you know that read my blog, Master and i haven’t been able to see each other on a regular basis because of His job, etc. We have a long distance (about an hour apart) relationship, but we talk to each other most every day, either by phone, text or email.  Continuing….

I am Master’s slave. I have been since the day He put His collar on my neck. That locked it for me. I FEEL like His slave. I KNOW i’m His slave. I think about that all the time. Master does not “control” every aspect of my life because He knows He can trust me and i know i wouldn’t do anything do jeopardize our relationship. So, there’s no need for Him to dictate my every move.  Now, that’s not saying that He won’t instill more control in the future, or from time to time about certain things. I’m just saying this is how it is right now. But, even with the minimal rules and control Master has for me, i AM, without a doubt His.

How do i feel about that? Satisfied, loved, happy, content. THIS is what i have looked for all my life and just didn’t know it. Of course, there are some days that i miss Him terribly (lots lately), but i know i WILL see Him. There are some days i feel a little disconnected when i didn’t hear from Him, but i know i WILL hear from Him. There are days that i’m just onery and fussy because i need all that He does for me (to me) to straighten me out. There are days i wish He could be here with me every day. But, that’s not in our cards right now and i knew this from the beginning. 

BUT, do i ever question the fact that i’m a slave or that i love being His slave? NO. Not ever, not once.  To me, being His slave is more than just what we do. It is how i feel inside. It’s how He makes me feel inside and out.  Even during those long weeks of not seeing Him in person and those days i don’t get to hear His voice, i still know i am His and am happy to be His slave.

Okay, nuff about me…

My point is this: Why do i read on so many slaves’ blogs where they are questioning their slavehood and/or their Master? It’s like this ultimate rollercoaster of wondering why they are in a M/s relationship. I see doubt, anger, selfishness, irritation, cursing, dissatisfaction, and a lot of non-submissive and non-slave-like personalities coming out. I’ve even seen one say she “hates” it, she likes to be “in charge.” (Girl, you are in the wrong place!) I see it over and over. I don’t want to get into definitions here; because i am sure there are some that will say that i’m not a slave. But, i AM to Master. Period.  I’ve seen the term “super submissive” here lately. Huh? Does being “super submissive” make one a slave? I personally don’t think so. But, i would think if one is super submissive, they they shouldn’t have much trouble being a slave, if that is what their Master wants of them. Right? Then, i see some who question whether they even LIKE being a slave. Really? Maybe this is just a way for some to work out their problems on paper, i don’t know. But when the same girls blog over and over about their problems with slavehood, i would think that eventually, they will either decide they ARE or ARE NOT a slave. Girls, MAYBE you just like the kink? MAYBE you just like it rough from time to time. MAYBE you are not a slave. And, if you are not, IT’s OKAY. Just figure it out for yourselves and stop being miserable 4 days out of 7. It’s my thought that most of these girls would be totally bored with just a regular “joe blow,” and a few weeks out of their collar would cure them, one way or the other. If you are unhappy in your relationship, or if you don’t think it’s for you, get out. Try that vanilla man across town, you’ll know for sure then, right?

So, that’s just my views on the matter. I’ve just always felt that you ARE or you AREN’T. There’s no middle ground when it comes to being a slave. And, if you aren’t a slave on the inside, you sure as heck aren’t going to be one on the outside.

~steps off soapbox~

So where have i been? Busy as heck! My brother was in a bad auto accident last Monday and i’ve been helping out with him and my parents a lot. He’s going to be okay. The accident was not his fault. GREAT negligence on the other driver. He will have a lot of rehabilitation after his knee surgery. But, he’s alive, and that’s what matters most.

Master and i (as stated above) are doing well. Today is the first day of the strike. He’s all excited about it. It may last for several weeks, not sure. I’m hoping like crazy that it will enable Him to come to see me more. Cause, i’m a GREEDY slave and He knows it! I WANT more of His mastery. Yummy!

I’ve lost 22 pounds now. I weigh again tomorrow, but i don’t think i did well last week. Too much stress with brother/family. But, even if i dropped one pound, i’ll be happy.  Master is pound and happy for me, and to hear Him say that means SO much. It’s so great to finally have One who tells you how good you look and that you’re pretty and sexy.

Welp i’m off here for now. Hopefully, i’ll be posting a little more often.

Me.

Keeping busy, sorta…

This week was, as usual, busy at work. I was thankful the weekend finally got here.  My boss won his case and so he was in the office all week. So, i didn’t get to do some of the things i wanted to do, which are easier when he’s not in. I really need to get the IT department crackin’ on getting me a new computer installed. But, when boss is in – i can’t let go of the one i have.

I talked to Master several times this week. They are very near the “strike” date and in His words, “it will only get worse.” Well, i’ll be glad when they strike and Master can have something different to do from day to day, at least for a while. He’s under a lot of pressure at work to perform. Micromangement has hit an all time high. Nevertheless, Master is feeling better and He has sounded much more chipper this week than past. I miss gettng to talk to Him every day. But then, there are those days He calls me twice or three times and i think i’ve hit the jackpot! 

I haven’t seen Him this weekend. He knows by now all my lil bites and bruises are all healed up and i am wanting for more, more, more. I have dropped a hint (i think) that i want to try the needle play now that we have plenty of needles. Wonder if that will appease Master’s piercing hunger…. ~grinz~ I kinda doubt it. I never thought i’d have anything pierced except my ears. Welp, i do. I can’t seem to say no.  He makes things sound so utterly delicious! In fact, the hood piercing IS. I’ve never had such hard orgasms on my own! They are like lil’ atomic bombs. Really! I kid you not! (okay change of subject)

I shopped yesterday; went to the book store and bought some Celtic divination cards, and a couple of Celtic books. I’ve read one totally and about 1/2 way through the other. I could stay in a book store for hours (and i did!). 

Today was nice outside and that’s where i’ve been all day…and my face and chest will reiterate that fact by it’s redness. I now have tan lines on my tan.  I sat outside most of the day and read. The weather was PURFECT. Not too hot, just good enough to keep nice and warm. I put my swimsuit on with a pair of shorts and got plenty of sun. Master prolly wouldn’t be too happy. He gave me a huge bottle of aloe vera last summer – i’ll have to get that out later after i bathe. Anyways, i love soaking up the rays. It makes me feel good and i’m so ready for Summertime. I’m just not a winter girl. So glad i live in the South!

I’m still dropping weight. I’m down 16 pounds. I weigh tomorrow morning (at the office), but i have a feeling that last week wasn’t so great. I have been really struggling with wanting chocolate. Not sure why. Some weeks i don’t even think about it, some i do. Maybe i should supplement O’s for chocolate or something. It’s an idea. Cept, that doesn’t help me while i’m at work.

I wanted to send big HUGZ to Baby. I know she will come out on top of all this and, much for the better!

Now i’m off to go soak in the tub and chill in front of the television! ~winks at my Master~

Me

Being patient and His…

Master did come to visit Sunday before last. We spent the most of the day together.  It had been a month and a half and believe me, there was a lot of tight hugs and kisses at my front door. It was a surprise that He came that day. I had just written Him a ”sunday morning” email and told Him i had been dreaming about Him. Then He emailed me back almost immediately. I about jumped out of my skin! He would be here in a lil over an hour, so i had to run and get ready. I have that down to a fine art!

 I’m a lil late in posting about it, but i’ve just been wore out from work and I have all this stuff in my head. Sometimes i just want to keep it there. Sometimes i want to put it here.

There is so much that goes on when He is here. He is like this great storm that rolls in and takes my breathe away. He and i meet each others needs perfectly. We have a deep connection that goes beyond the physical.

As far as what we did – i had all His implements laying out on the dresser, close at hand. He blindfolded me and had me get on all fours on the bed. He used the delrin cane first. That thing is heavy and hard. Not much give in it at all. That is one i will have to work into. Master said that we may not use it much, but i want to be able to. Master also used the “wicked” stick and the cat on me. But, since it had been a while since i had been struck with anything, He went a lil easy on me. He reads my body very well. Even though i may want more, He knows what i really need. Master is the best lover, His body melds with mine so perfectly. We have great, rough sex. Between His grabbing my collar and the face slap (reminding me this was not a dream) while He was having His way with me…well i was in my place, in my perfect slave space. We layed together on the bed for quite a while and just talked. I love our talks. I couldn’t resist smelling and tasting Him. So, i ventured downward and got Him nice and hard again and got on top for a bit. I felt a bit out of place there, but it was very nice.  I ended up on my stomach and Master fucking me hard from behind. ~squeels~ There’s nothing like that when Your ass is sore from being whipped. Pleasure and pain. Mmmmhmmmmm!

Okay so we finally made our way to the shower and then went out to eat and do a lil shopping. I got a fire pit for the patio and Master put it together for me. That was fun, spending time outside with Him in the sunshine. He’s so sexy hot – i have a hard time not staring at Him. 

Before Master left, He changed the piercing jewelry in my hood. I needed a shorter bar. Nothing to it, except Master’s big fingers had a hard time twisting on the lil balls and would kinda pinch me! I kept giggling and wiggling. Master said if i didn’t be still He was going to find something ELSE to pierce. So, i got still….kinda.

I miss Him A LOT! His job still is rough and they are striking soon. They are counting the days. Greedy me – i hope to get to see Him more when He’s not working during that time. I try to be patient. I do good most days. I am happy in the knowledge that i am His and that He loves me. Most days, that’s enough. The other days, people tend to stay outta my way. ~grinz~ My friends know when it’s been a long time since i’ve been with Master.

I should try to do better about posting. The weather here has been ucky one day (rain and cold) to beautiful the next (sun and hot). Master has had an ear ache for about 2 weeks and so this weather isn’t helping Him out either. It’s been windy more than usual lately. I am SO ready for Spring and Summer. So is He. He’s mentioned “midnight” rides and i hope to be able to go for a ride with Him.

Welp, i’m outta here for tonight……~blows a kiss to Master~

Me.

An award…

Recently, I received this award from my friend, Baby, over at Educating Baby. I love her blog and read it regularly. She is is a beautiful person and I consider her my friend.  I apologize for not responding to this sooner. 

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.”

The Rules to accepting this award: “Deliver this award to 8 bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

Here are a few of my favorite blogs that I would like to pass on this award to. Sorry, it’s not 8, but I’m picky. and most of the blogs I read have already received this award.

Moonheart
Libby
Coy Pink

Thanks, Baby!

Me